I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
