I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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