This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
