Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
