??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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