Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
