I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
