I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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