Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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