jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
