did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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