dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
