You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
