One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
