she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
from now on my penis is your penis
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
