Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
