i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
