3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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