He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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