But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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