Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
