you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
bring money and cleavage
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
