Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
send nudes
from the living room?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
