on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
