we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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