You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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