I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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