Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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