I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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