He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
