And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
