That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
