Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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