so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
