Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
