Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
