the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
