And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
