He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
