Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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