Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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