Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
