Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
