saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
