Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
