I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
