You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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