i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
