I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
