I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
